It's been a while! There have been alot of things that I wanted to write about but never was able to find the time to actually finish a complete post!
I'm sure there will come a day when I am able to dedicate more time to this, but in the meantime my posts will likely be few and far between.
For now, I would like to share a video of a song that has been in my head since I saw it! It spoke to my heart because there was a time in my life when I was not able to say that I loved the Lord, because I loved my sin more. I am so thankful that He has become real in my life, and now I can say, with all that is within me, I love Him. I love Him. I love Him! That's all I want to say.

Hope it's a blessing to you as well.

Words

Sticks and stones may break the bones, but words pierce the heart.

Today, I've come to realize how powerful words can be. How a simple phrase can change a perspective. How words can cause people to draw closer together, or be torn apart. How one word may be all a person needs to hear to make them smile, or ruin their day.

I remember, before God got a hold of me, I had a horrible mouth. Besides having foul language, I would just spew things out of my mouth without considering how my words affected others. I was so filled pride that even when I knew that my words hurt others, I would justify it in my own mind so I wouldn't have to feel guilty.

Praise God, He has changed alot of things in my heart. Before, I wanted to hurt people, I wanted to get a laugh at someone else's expense. I don't want that anymore. I want every word that comes out of my mouth to be pleasing to God. I want to comfort people with my words. I want to build up others with my words. I want my words to be a blessing. I don't ever want to hurt someone with my words. But it has happened. Someone whom I care for deeply has been hurt by something I said. I didn't think much of it when I said it, and haven't given it a second thought since. Little did I know, this person has been hurting and struggling with this and it was me who caused her to feel this way. She has graciously forgiven me, but I know that the feelings she's had will not go away so easily.

I can't help but look back and wonder how many others have been hurt by my carelessness.

This is my prayer: "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips." Ps 141:3

I may not be able to go back and ask forgiveness to all those I've hurt, but with God's grace and direction I can be more careful with my words.

If I could turn back time

God showed me something tonight. I've realized that the way I lived in the past affects me now. Sin has left it's scars. I used to say proudly "I would never change anything in my past, it's made me who I am today."
HA!! Boy, do I see things differently now. If I could go back, I would change SO many things! I was a fool for so long. I wasted many years.
Although, while growing up, I wasn't churched or knew my bible, I always felt a tug at my heart. God called on me to repent so many times. I said in my heart 'Not right now God, you just stay there on the back burner while I go live my life, I'm not ready for you yet.' I took advantage of His grace. I used Him for salvation, and wanted to give nothing in return.
I was so stupid. And now I see that if I would've listened, I may not have these struggles today. Maybe I would've been more careful with what I allowed into my life.
This is why I don't deserve His mercy. Yet He grants it. A wretched old sinner like me is forgiven. All those years I pretended I didn't know Him, He still forgave. Lord help me if I ever grow tired of speaking of His wonderful grace.
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

Before the Throne of God

A friend shared this video with me and I really enjoyed it.

God has really blessed me in so many different ways. When I was younger, I could've never imagined that I would be married with 2 daughters.

I love my little girls, my heart aches when I think about how much I love them!

Sometimes I will catch my 2 year old playing by herself, lost in her own little world, and I'll just watch her quietly. Tears come to my eyes when I think that someday she will be grown. I try so hard to hang on to those moments, but they pass too quickly. To me there's nothing more precious than the innocence of a child. I long for the day when I will know that innocence again. When I no longer have to wrestle away horrible thoughts, or battle against my corrupt heart, and my sinful flesh. When purity is restored and everything is as it should be.

One of my favorite hymns talks about that day....

There is coming a day
When no heatrtache shall come
No more clouds in the sky
No more tears to dim the eye
All is peace forevermore
On that happy golden shore
What a day, glorious day, that will be

There'll be no sorrow there
No more burdens to bear
No more sickness, no pain
No more parting over there
And forever I will be
With the one who died for me
What a day, glorious day, that will be


What a day that will be
When my Jesus I shall see
When I look upon His face
The One who saved me by His grace
When He takes me by the hand
And leads me through the promised land
What a day, glorious day, that will be

I once asked someone, "Who do you miss the most?". She answered, "Jesus."
I had to meditate on that for while. Most people would have answered by naming a family member or close friend who passed away, or someone they haven't seen in a long time. But how much more should we long to see our Saviour? To finally see what He looks like! To behold absolute perfection, grace, mercy, love, everything that is good and holy and pure! I can't even imagine it myself let alone try to describe it. I just know it's gonna be good!

I don't wish to die, but we cannot escape the inevitable. I'm going to try my best to live my life in preparation for eternity. I so long to hear those words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"

Serve God because you "get"to

It's monday, a new week, another fresh start. I'm so thankful God's grace allows us to begin anew every morning. I need His grace every hour and am so thankful my "good works" will not determine whether I will get into heaven or not.

Yesterday's message was a good one. Pastor talked about other religions and how people will go to great lengths to fulfill the various rituals their religions require of them and yet still have no guarantee of eternal life in Heaven.
As Christians, we recognize that salvation is a gift, no works required. We should serve God with our lives not because we "have" to but because we "get" to. He deserves no less for the price He paid for us.

Growing by God's grace

I'm still discovering new things each day. As I've been more faithful over the past couple of weeks, God has been doing a work in my heart, I'm more willing to let go things that I held on to before, sin that hindered my walk with God.
There were days when I slacked off and was just miserable!! When a person has seen how much joy and peace being in close fellowship with God brings, it's hard to go back. That reminds me of the verse in Proverbs "...the way of transgressors is hard."
I guess the Almighty Living God knows what He's talking about!